Please Come Hear: Deb Angus, brain injury survivor and author of “Regaining Consciousness: My Encounter with Mild Brain Injury--the Silent Epidemic," will share her story about how she and her husband were sitting at a stoplight and…See More
This site is the one place I know I can rant about peoples obsessive need to give pep talks instead of listening to what I am saying!
Thank God for rehab professionals. They keep me sane! So do you all. So do many people. But many other people don't get it at all.
I am so very tired of hearing "Oh I do that all the time!" when I try to explain what is going on for me. I am also so very tired of hearing about brain neuroplasticity.
Be here now! Stop talking to me about 10 years from now when I am trying to grock my present brain holes and learn to work around them.
The thing is, I am a very positive person. I am very positive and hopeful about where I will eventually get to with growing new brain pathways. I am not complaining. I am explaining. I am trying to understand myself. I am trying to help the person understand me.
I don't even think it is the way I am saying things. It is people's discomfort with hearing a person say something about themselves. If it was gossip - no problem. Gossip is about someone. It is listening to someone that certain people have difficulty with.
My encouragement to anyone who does not have a TBI or any other difficulty? Stop, pause, and question yourself the next time you want to offer encouraging words. Did you actually hear what the person shared? Did they complain or did they explain?
Explaining is asking you to hear us. Explaining is asking to be understood.
What is going on inside of your own heart, mind and body in response - or in reaction - to what the other person just said? What is making you feel you need to give them a pep talk or minimize their comment? What is keeping you from understanding?
This drawing is by Jeff Gregory of Jagged Smile. His work is used with permission.