connecting the world one survivor at a time
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with the frustration from limitations, and just feeling different then others. I am always noticing my limitations in comparison to others. I had my injury young. And I developed a lot of shame around it. Now that I am older I feel like my emotional responses to my condition are as debilitating as the symptoms themselves.
I had my injury at 47 and the frustration led me to bouts of anger. Looking back, at times I feel like I was a kid with a temper tantrum. I just wanted to blow, but had the sense to know that is not who I was so I stuffed emotions. Whatever the situation, we are not our emotions. If you are responding out of emotions, can you try to take a time out before responding to the situation.
I know I am different. Its like nerves are on end. Someone unexpected coming to my door late at night has triggered an emotional response of severe anxiety. Then I was unable to shake anxiety, then was mad at myself for lack of control. Torn between wanting to cry and scream. Same with my car breaking down on highway. I end up on bad nerves for days. I just remind myself that this is who I am now, and if I have to take a xanax and go to bed and the symptoms last day-that is how it will be-it is on Gods terms, not mine.
I dont know if this is any help, but remember, you are not alone
Carlo, you are the toughest person on yourself. People usually are toughest on themselves. Always pushing for something, right? We can give ourselves much more grief and frustration than anyone possibly can. When we can be so kind to others, why are we often so hard on ourselves?
Yes, we have limitations. But these limitations can reveal to us our incredible strength. Don't let your limitations define you. Define your strengths and let them shine. You are important and have many gifts to give the world.
No one should compare themselves to others, nor should we compare ourselves to how we used to be. We are given a certain set of tools to work with. Take away or break a tool, and just see how clever we are at still finding ways to work around situations. We're good! We're very good!
How would you like others to treat you? With love, kindness, understanding, patience, respect? Can we become our best friend and treat OURSELVES with love, kindness, understanding, patience and respect? Again, why is it we can be so kind to others, yet so deprecating to ourselves?
Next time you feel frustrated, try this. Talk to yourself as you would your dearest friend. Give yourself encouragement, be patient with yourself, comfort yourself, love being who you are, because you truly are wonderful. Truly show yourself that you care about yourself. And smile.
I am a brain dialog researcher. Your brain actually contains the equivalent of 4 living computer software application programs. That means that your brain sees one situation from a minimum of 4 viewpoints.
In working with your thoughts, when you focus on thinking and imagining that you feel uplifted, the brain folds in your brain actually begin to change. This is how the brain houses memories to make habits.
So, focus on what you can do. Think those thoughts. Samples might be, "I am a decent human being. I do the best I can do during my life at every moment. As I acknowledge that I am a decent human being and that I always do my best, I feel good about me."
The brain is a highly creative organ. You are designed to think any thought you choose to think. When you practice believing in you and focusing on what's RIGHT in your life, your brain's neural pathways actually change to accommodate the upbeat thinking.
Think of your brain's folds (also called neural pathways) like they are streets or highways. Ideas travel down specific neural pathways and you create a habit of thinking a certain way.
For example, when you were young, there came a time that you master tying your own shoes. It was by repeated practice that eventually you effortlessly mastered the skill of tying your own shoes. The way that you were able to develop that skill was to first feel frustrated because you couldn't master it. However, through perseverance, and THINKING that you would find a way to achieve this goal, eventually you did do it.
You work at your own pace. If you compare your abilities to someone else who has stronger capabilities than yours in any goal, you defeat your own progress. Instead, only compare your own personal past progress records to your personal current ability levels. Forget about comparing your abilities to somebody else. You can never win doing that.
Also, by taking time to imagine each day seeing yourself at the end result of your goal, your brain and mind work together to actually see to it that you do achieve your goal. If you'd like to eliminate feeling shame thoughts about your current situation, stop seeing your behavior as shameful. It is what it is.
I remember years ago when I was in a car accident. Eventually I was unable to walk. The doctors said my spinal column injury was surgically unrepairable. Well, I learned that they were right. However, I did heal it by using natural methods instead. I am also a certified clinical hypnotist and a Jin Shin Jyutsu phisio-philosopher practitioner. It is by using hypnosis, Jin Shin Jyutsu and homeopathic remedies that I no longer need an elevator chair lift to get up and down stairs. It is the same with your current habit of thinking you should shame yourself about TBI.
I encourage you to keep focused on your amazing achievements. You are still alive. You can type. You can dress yourself. You can do a lot of things. So what if you are slower than most people. Speed is not everything. Take it from me. Though it took me YEARS to heal, I have done it. It all starts with believing that you CAN do it.
Your efforts are appreciated. You are an awesome person. The proof of that is that you are still here. Keep moving forward and keep acknowledging that you are a survivor!