Does anyone on here had a hard time accepting themselves after their injury/accident? I have struggled with this from the get go. It seems to be getting worse. I think this is because I have gone kicking and screaming and refuse to accept I am different. It has been a little over 2 years since my life changed forever. I'm not good at change, and never have been. My partner has helped me a lot with accepting who I am. I just somehow cannot let it go. Parts of me are the old me and parts of me are this stranger living in my body, who I have to get to know eventually. I think the worst part is people asking me when are you going to go back to work or school? Like I should be WAY over this now! Thanks for listening.

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How do we accept how different we are, exspecially when everyone around us just gives up on us, I am learning I am not the only one who wishes they died in their accident, when will it all end
Sam
I understand. I do think it would have been easier for everyone if I would have died that day. I know it's hard. People say and do things that are just too hurtful and very surprising. I know, for me, somedays it's just too hard to go on. It's really hard to be in groups because I am very self-conscious. At times when I need support, there is no one there to support me. I kind of feel like I am alone and too weak to stand alone. I don't really get mad....I just get hurt. The hurt is the roughest part. Before my accident, I would get my feelings hurt, get mad, then get over it. Now...those hurt feelings run around in circles in my head. I wish I could tell you when that feeling would go away. I don't know when, and I'm new to this too. I will tell you that I try to do something to quit thinking about being hurt. Sometimes it's just Wii but it does exercise my brain. That exercise keeps those thoughts and fears away for a while.
Hope you (and I) will soon find that positive attitude that we need to recover.

Sam said:
How do we accept how different we are, exspecially when everyone around us just gives up on us, I am learning I am not the only one who wishes they died in their accident, when will it all end
I am not sure if one ever totally accepts our change, but I guess time will tell
Robyn said:
Sam
I understand. I do think it would have been easier for everyone if I would have died that day. I know it's hard. People say and do things that are just too hurtful and very surprising. I know, for me, somedays it's just too hard to go on. It's really hard to be in groups because I am very self-conscious. At times when I need support, there is no one there to support me. I kind of feel like I am alone and too weak to stand alone. I don't really get mad....I just get hurt. The hurt is the roughest part. Before my accident, I would get my feelings hurt, get mad, then get over it. Now...those hurt feelings run around in circles in my head. I wish I could tell you when that feeling would go away. I don't know when, and I'm new to this too. I will tell you that I try to do something to quit thinking about being hurt. Sometimes it's just Wii but it does exercise my brain. That exercise keeps those thoughts and fears away for a while.
Hope you (and I) will soon find that positive attitude that we need to recover.

Sam said:
How do we accept how different we are, exspecially when everyone around us just gives up on us, I am learning I am not the only one who wishes they died in their accident, when will it all end
Sam,
I don't know when it will end. I wish someone could answer that for me. It would be better if I could "mark" that date on my calendar. I could look forward to that date. I would "X" off every day that I went through and count the days until the magic date was here. It would be like a kid waiting for Christmas. But...that is not a possibility. Instead, I'm just tryint to adapt as best as possible. I was an outdoor person before sometimes I just think about being alone outdoors. I think it would be easier to move to an area close to a national park. There you wouldn't have to see anybody you know, or who knows what you have been through. I fantasize that it would be like starting a new life with a clean slate. For me, I think it would relieve a lot of stress. BUT!!! There are people who love me right here. They stood there in that hospital for a long time, praying that I would just move....or make a sound. They do things all the time that make me think they have no idea what I'm going through. I have to try to understand that they really have no idea. They want to know...but they can't. I don't want them to go through this...I would like for them to understand but their patience is gone. They have invested too much time and emotion, to see the little results they are seeing. Just keep pushing forward. I can say this right this minute. The next second, minute, hour, or day, I might tell you something else. For now though, you are another human to me. A human with thoughts, feelings, and importance. You need to know, people may not show it but, they care for you and love you. Even when they are ugly to you, they still love you. People who have never met you love you. All over the planet, there are people who just love any living thing. Maybe we don't see ourselves as a value but, we are valuable. Maybe we are not as self-reliant as we should be but, we are still members of the human race. Maybe not at the 'front" of the race....but....definately participating.
i hate myself i dont want to accept this person that everyone hates, i would have been better off dying, but this is the life i am stuck with

Hi, I am so sorry that you feel the same as I still do & have since the end of summer back in 1989. I can & do relate with you on your feeling that everyone hates you, however I am certain that they don't, suga' rather it's that they don't truly understand what we are forced to face, seemingly from moment to moment.

Hopefully your new friend to be

Gregory 

I know wha t you mean and I understand.
I get that way too. It just seems like everything I knew is different.
I was very selective about friends.
I only chose a couple that would be really "close" to me.
The rest were aquaintances. I was OK with that.
My family was most important to me.
Now...my family really doesn't have much todo with me. I really feel like they don't want to be around me and only do that when they are obligated. It's not that they hate me...they just don't like to be around me because I'm so different.
That really hurts me. I was always there for them. Now, they don't want to be around for me.
My friends...well...they have no obligation so they just don't come around or talk at all.
I have to remember.....There have been times when I have known someone who has been injured or ill. I tried to stay away from them so they could rest. I didn't think they cared about whether or not I was around. Now I wonder if they cared and I didn't know it. I wouldn't have hurt them on purpose but I bet I did. I also know the feeling of not knowing what to say when someone has been injured....and the fear of saying something wrong....so....I'm just waiting for something or someone to come along. It's hard but someone will accept the new person that I have became.
It will be OK. I'm in the same boat but someday I'll be out...so will you.
Terry said:
i hate myself i dont want to accept this person that everyone hates, i would have been better off dying, but this is the life i am stuck with
Hey Everyone,

Haven't been around for a while. I was in the hospital for 1.5 weeks...I had a plan, but no attempt this time. While there I was faced with some of the monsters inside me. In the isolation and supportive staff I was able to deal with some of the things that had gotten me there in the first place. I had finally hit rock bottom & the only place there was, was to look up. I never thought I would be in a place like that, everything so sterile and tacked down.

I had no where to run anymore, no where to hide, and was stuck sitting in silence all alone. Being all alone was where I had always been afraid to go. It was rather errie to sit with one's self and retrospectively look and disect your feelings. Since my accident I have had trouble with knowing what my feelings are. Other than anger, rage, depression, anxiety, and out of control...I couldn't feel anything. It was like a toddler learning to crawl and then walk, it doesn't happen in the same day. I first was ashamed of being there, and didn't want anyone to know what was going on with me. The longer I was there I began to make some very scary calls to people who were my friends...I found out I do matter, God does care, and I am here for some purpose even if I don't know what that is.

Take care everyone,

Stephanie
what happens when we don't want to accept our new self, I think that is where I am
Taylor,
I wish I knew. There are a lot of times when Ifeel that way.
I don't want to accept this....I want to be as independent and fun-loving as I was before. I would love to sleep all night....just once for a change.
I see people here who not only accept themselves, they seem happy to me. I'm wondering if it is the "shock" from the "trauma." I also wonder if it's all the medications. I have never been so medicated in my life. I do think if we have patience, it will come.
It has been 6 months and 6 days since my accident. At first, people were just happpy that I came out of the coma. They didn't know how "hard" it was to start to relearn. I tried not to let it show. Now, people are wondering if I'm "acting" and they don't mind telling me. I wouldn't "act" like this for any amount of money or anything else. I am trying to teach myself how to be more comfortable with myself. Before the accident, I would never have went out of the house looking like a wreck. (live in a small town...everyone knows everyone) For a while, I just didn't care. When I look in the mirror there is a stranger looking back at me. I am recovering very quickly....but...I am too hard on myself. I am too picky. I don't think I would be this critical on any other person on the planet. However, I WANT TO BE MYSELF AGAIN!!! I am better than what I was last week. I am more accepting of myself. I just have to keep thinking every little step is just a little closer to my goal.
Please try to think of it in that way. I understand the sadness and depression that comes with this. I think I came here just to find others like me. Some are so happy and appear to be so well-adjusted. If they can do it...so can we.


Taylor said:
what happens when we don't want to accept our new self, I think that is where I am
O understand. What hurts is my parents now in their 80's have never understood what I go through. To them I can do anything if I pit my mind to it.

I have done a lot, went back tp grad school and got a mastyer's degree, but my proble3m is emotional much more than intellectual.

It's hard to convince most people that head injuries aren't permaqnent and it takes a lot of time and effort just to get back to living a 'normal' lofe whatever that is. I was injured in a ling fall in 1981, I didn't really know what happened physically until 1994, w3ith a CT Scan.

SO yes, trying to figure out what I am capable of is a continuing mystery.
I'm 51 years old now and really wondering what the future holds for me. I am rather frightened. Retirement is difficult. At least holding my job so long has given me satisfactory income on disabilty, but still, I often ask, what am I good for?

Being is okay, but I need something to make me feel useful and fulfilled. A paralyzed person, people can more readily imagine. Its hard for others to know the effects of TBI or other psycholgical/psychiatric disorders we suffer from, even my family.

Its not a matter of will, it's a matter of coping and figuring that out how to do that is often a big challenge.

Yea, my futility and the lack of understanding hurts a whole lot.

Finding helpfil support from friends, family, etc. is vital in my view.

Its tough for me. I started a support group here, but iots hard handling that and my family sometines.

Your life probably has changed, it hekps to get medical advice and counseling, but first youmust accept that life is suddenly very challenging.

I hope you can accept the changes in yourself and your life better than I have. Be good to yourself. Cut yourself a break even if other people don't.That is #1 proirity

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